The Lighter Side

Stories, anecdotes and jokes from our readers that illustrate the humorous side of the martial arts.

Interesting Historical Facts

Editor's Note: A recent post on an internet discussion group by Gary Gabelhouse highlighted the type of misinformation that can be found on the web. Some of history purported to be true was so funny that I asked Gary if I could post it. He said "sure." Here is his post:

Hello All,

Based on my web-surfing research, I have found the following to be true. All of the following facts have been touted by various martial arts sites on the web — so, they gotta be true, right?

1. Jesus taught the Okinawans what they referred to as "ti" and is now referred to as Karate.

2. Buddha was such a good martial artist that he once subdued a charging elephant and threw it hundreds of yards — the beast carving a long channel out of the ground. These ancient chitechniques are still secretly taught by Buddhist monks at a "martial-training monastery" in upstate New York.

3. The higher levels of Vajramukti (Thunderbolt Fist) teaches you how to literally direct bolts of lightening out of the palm of the hand, allowing you to subdue anyone or anything. At the highest level, you become a thunderhead cloud–actually able to levitate and float overhead, directing bolts of lightening out of your hands.

4. Bruce Lee learned to project his chi from space aliens sometimes referred to as the Anukai referenced in early Sumerian texts. The one-inch punch was only possible through aliens training Lee to properly channel his chi/ki.

These were just a few really neat things I learned by researching martial-arts web sites. I really like knowing these kind of things, because it makes me feel good training in an art with such a mysterious and romantic legacy.

Anyone else care to share facts they've found on martial arts web
sites? ;-)

Best!
Gary G.

Gary Gabelhouse
Gary Gabelhouse is Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Fairfield Research, Inc. , a market research and consulting firm in the entertainment and media industries. Prior to his acquisition of Fairfield, Gabelhouse was Executive Vice President and a member of the Fairfield Board of Directors. Prior to his involvement with Fairfield, Gabelhouse was Senior Vice President and member of the Board of Directors for SRI Research, SRI/Gallup, Gallup of Canada, and what is now the Gallup Organization. Gabelhouse trains Okinawan Goju Ryu Karate-do under John Roseberry, Hanshi and is the Business Director for his teacher's Shobu-Kan Martial Arts Center in Lincoln, Nebraska. He is also a student of Daito-Ryu Aikijujutsu. Gabelhouse's interests outside of the martial arts and business include mountaineering, bonsai cultivation, fishing and fly tying, oil painting, landscape gardening, writing and watching his 21 year old daughter play rugby. Gabelhouse has been married to his wife Cindy since 1975. He is a frequent contributor to FightingArts.com.